Gone Fishing With John O’Hare

A fishing friend of mine from Mallow,Dick W. who is one of the best anglers I know (I told you some tales about him in previous articles), said to me, ‘I had the wall really pulled over my eyes recently by nephew home on holidays from America I must tell you about it.’ So here is what happened.
A couple of years ago the nephew came home to Ireland for his first visit ever and, as usually happens, he ended up with uncle Dick and friends in the local bar. The topic of discussion was the fishing outing down to Waterville the next day as, word had it, that the sea trout fishing was good. The nephew, though he had never caught a fishing rod in his hand, wanted to come with them for the craic, and Dick in the end said okay you can come with me, but be careful not to upset my fishing in the boat. Off the gallant band of anglers go the next day, but despite a lot of hard fishing nobody had caught any fish. They were all going to meet up in church island for lunch and, as it was close to time, Dick aimed the prow of the boat to the island. The nephew, who had been practising how to cast all morning, asked Dick to hold tough for a few minutes as he liked the look of the drift they were on. Dick, with a shake of his head, decided to humour him and, with that, the water exploded, the nephews rod bent double, and he was hooked into a big sea trout. The lads already landed on the shore watched the battle, and under Dicks guidance a fine fish of 6 1/2 pounds was boated to cheers from the lads. Of course Dick got a lot of ragging, a complete amateur to beat one of the best anglers in Ireland. The yank was delighted with himself, as well he might be.
After lunch back out fishing again, it was a repeat of the morning with no fish so at about 7 o’clock Dick said, ‘will we call it a day?’ The nephew said, ‘please can we give the place where I caught the fish one more go?’, and Dick agreed. As they started casting history repeated itself, splash, and the Yanks rod bent double and another great battle and a sea trout the same size as the first one netted and in the boat. Did Dick get a ragging! No one but the Yank came back from Waterville with fish. Every day and at night in the bar people were rubbing it into him about this novice who walloped a champion at sea trout fishing. As usual it went too far and Dick got into a black mood which only left when the source of his misery returned to America. The following year the nephew came back to visit and, calling up to see uncle Dick, presented him with a nicely wrapped parcel. Dick was delighted, hoping that it contained a bottle of his favourite whiskey (Powers). As soon as the yank left he tore off the wrapping only to find a book entitled ‘How to catch sea trout in Waterville, Ireland’ by Maurice W.
Dick was fuming ‘F me,’ he said ,’the F…r never fished in his life, catches two trout and then goes to write a book telling the rest of us how to do it.’ Catching the book he tossed it up on the dresser and for three nights he was so cross that nobody in the bar could approach him without getting their nose bitten off. On the fourth night the nephew came over to him and said, ‘did you read my book yet?’ ‘No,’ was Dicks sharp response.
The rest of the bar knew what was going on and there was dead silence. ‘Well,’ said the nephew, ‘have a look at it when you go home because I am only here for a few more days and I would like your view on it.’ Dick said nothing but when he got home took down the book and opened the first page, blank, second page, blank, third page, blank, in fact if you have examined the book properly at the start he would’ve found out all the pages are blank, it was a trick book that you could buy and get the cover printed up with a title and your name is an author. ‘F and F again that is three times he has got the better of me, twice with the sea trout and now with the book, there could be no doubt that he is a member of our family alright,’ said Dick with a smile.

The Kenmare trout anglers club had their outing up to the caha lakes on Sunday, June 14. It was as usual a great day out. The climb up to the lakes through rough terrain with beautiful views of hills and valleys and Bantry Bay in the distance is worth the trip alone, not to mind the fry up at the lakes edge, tea and sausages never tasted nicer. The fishing was wonderful as usual even if the big trout had taken a day of rest. The number of small trout coming to the fly augers well for the future. As one angler said (waxing poetic) ‘when you hold one of them in your hand you have a creature who has lived in those lakes without change for thousands of years.’ Long may it continue.

The salmon and sea trout fishing is still in the doldrums, it cannot but get better. The sea bass fishing is open again. Mackerel and Pollock catches are still on the small side. Generally bottom fishing for dogfish, wrasse etc has been good but as I always say if you are not out there fishing you will catch nothing. It is like the person who said to me the lotto was a fraud as he has never won anything. When I asked him if he played it a lot his answer was hardly ever.

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